You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
wrigley field is MILF paradise
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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