My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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