I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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