He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
