I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
