I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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