When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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