Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
