how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
