I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
