We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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