What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
