ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
id be glad to
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
