lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
