yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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