you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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