Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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