i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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