that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
