I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize