i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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