I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize