what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Randomize