i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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