how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Randomize
