i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
