before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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