What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
