So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize