Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
