Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
