why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
