why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
it's like heaven, but drunker
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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