Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
