Your dad touched me again.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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