Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
