I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
