I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
