I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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