Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
