im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I see more hoeing in ur future
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
