Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
