how do flat chested girls get laid?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
