i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
