We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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