imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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