U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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