Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
