Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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