I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize