I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
