You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
