we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
