As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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