Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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