Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
