It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
