Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
